HELPING A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER WITH SUBSTANCE USE
Supporting a friend or family member struggling with substance use can be overwhelming. It’s natural to feel a range of emotions—anger, fear, helplessness, and confusion. You may wonder: How do I approach the conversation? What help is available?
UNDERSTANDING SUBSTANCE USE
People use substances for different reasons. Some might use them to manage physical pain or to cope with anxiety and depression. Others may use them recreationally to enhance experiences. However, when substance use starts interfering with responsibilities, relationships, or their overall well-being, it might be time to have a conversation, if you feel comfortable doing so.
HOW TO START THE CONVERSATION
Approaching someone about their substance use is never easy, and there’s no one “right way” to do it. Here are some tips that might help:
Find the right time and place.
Make sure you choose a moment where you both have privacy and time to talk without interruptions. Think about where your loved one feels most at ease—maybe during a walk, sitting side by side, or in the car.
Be mindful of their state.
It’s ideal to have the conversation when they aren’t under the influence of substances or in the process of coming down. However, if this isn’t possible, do your best to remain calm and empathetic.
Avoid assumptions.
If you choose to ask about their drug use, try not to make assumptions about how much they’re using or why. Stay open-minded and avoid accusatory tones.
Speak from your perspective.
Use “I” statements to express how their substance use is affecting you. For example, “I feel worried when you’re using because I care about you,” rather than blaming them with “you” statements, which can feel confrontational.
Keep the conversation open
You may not resolve everything in one discussion, and that’s okay. Let them know you’re here for them, ready to listen and help, with phrases like, "We can figure this out together."
Suggest professional help.
Encourage your loved one to contact a professional support worker who can offer them the guidance they need.
Prioritise safety
Remember that suddenly stopping substance use can be dangerous. Always recommend that they consult a professional before making drastic changes.
SETTING BOUNDARIES
AT HOME
If you live with the person, it’s important to establish clear, realistic boundaries. Be upfront about what behaviour is acceptable in the home and what isn’t, as well as the expectations within your relationship. This helps protect your space and well-being while fostering a respectful environment.
RECOGNISING POSITIVE CHANGES
Acknowledging even the smallest steps can make a big difference. Celebrate milestones like reaching out for support, admitting substance use is becoming an issue, or taking steps to improve their health and safety. These are all important markers of progress, even if they seem minor at the time.
Not everyone will change their substance use immediately, but what matters most is that they stay informed and make safer choices. Encourage your loved one to connect with non-judgmental services like QuIHN, where they can receive support and guidance on how to stay safe while using substances.
TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF
While it’s natural to focus on helping your loved one, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Supporting someone with substance use can be draining, and your mental and emotional health is just as important. Reducing your own stress will not only help you feel better, but it will also enable you to provide stronger support to those who need you most.
Remember, substance use impacts more than just the individual—it can deeply affect families and loved ones too. Often, people suffer in silence out of fear of judgment or misunderstanding. But it’s crucial to know you’re not alone. Many families face similar struggles, and seeking support can make all the difference.
By prioritising both your well-being and that of your loved one, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the challenges of supporting someone through their journey with substance use.